Here’s what everyone knows about Owuor. He is braggadocio who specializes in special effects.
He loves illusions of grandeur. He used to drive in a large convoy full of police and police wannabes, and which included as many police vehicles as possible.
He used to have hired marching bands from Police and National Youth Service. Then there are these exquisite red carpets stretched as far as his vehicle is parked and lots of flowers and …..and of course the silly drapes.
Then you have these gold stanchions and red ropes. Omieri appears to be arriving for Oscars or something.
On either side of the stanchion will be crowds cheering him on.
Owuor has been busy imitating government functionaries who love all this pomp. Then comes the idiocy of titles longer than you can imagine.
Special effects. And it works.
That’s why being close to Owuor is something his adherents die for. Being called by name is like earning a straight ticket to Abraham’s bosom.
Owuorism is a dirt poor man’s religion. His garbage attracts the least literate, poorest of the poorest in Kenya. This is not to mean that everyone in Owuoristan is poor.
There will always be exceptions. All cults attract a few well off and highly educated deluded souls.
There are always exceptions.
Exceptions don’t change nothing. Owuorism remains an enticing last resort for the frustrated, desperate scum of humanity.
Owuor knows this and he hates it with all his guts and ugly beards.
How can a highly educated cult leader perpetually seduce the poor and illiterates?
Special effects come in handy to shift this reality at least superficially.
The few educated, career men and women, and leaders are given tons of prominence.
Their presence is celebrated at each kennel. Their leadership path is accelerated and many are made instant pastors and Bigshops.
And their jobs and professions are ALWAYS loudly and amply proclaimed. There is not a single meeting that passes without Owuor acknowledging the professionals.
He makes a point of exaggerating their qualifications. A general practitioner may be announced as a top government doctor for instance, lawyer graduates barely out of college and light-years away from establishing their practice are declared senior counsels…
Enter the disciplined forces.
I have no idea why everyone at some point wanted to become a policeman, especially when their ages are well under the single-digit range.
Maybe it has to do with their uniform, hats, the authority they command, and of course guns.
Guns are pretty Killing machines but pretty. So kids at the earliest are drawn to this.
But then not too long thereafter the reality of the disciplined forces hit them.
Stress. Poor pay. Gore. Poor working conditions.
And nobody wants to join the police. Next to the police are the army. Armies are the ultra badasses.
Better uniforms. Bigger guns. More respect. More macho.
I had these ambitions until we went to the ASK Show arena and the army were pulling this drill which involved lots of smoke bombs and gunshots.
Suddenly a grunt in full fatigues came and dropped in front of me, cocked his gun and opened fire.
The sound of gunshots inches away from my face scared the hell out of me. It took my parents exactly 11 hours to locate me after I fled in confusion and lost my bearing.
I had crawled to the very front row to catch the action. I was so confused I forgot I had parents.
I never wanted nothing to do with army and guns. All I want about armies I read in novels, Quora and movies.
Owuor has had some luck in recruiting a few confused army men into his Jezebelic cause. Warrior-turned-puppy Kyaka is one of them. A retired major general. A bit of luck but not much. Same case with police force.
If you are Kenyan you know too well that we really don’t love our police. The institution is riddled with corruption for a better part, and most of us have experienced it.
For years the qualifications for joining the police force have been among the lowest.
But over the last 15 years or so successive governments have attempted to improve the police force pouring billions there, and as a result, nowadays even university graduates crowd up recruitment events.
So why is Owuor obsessed with the police seeing they are not exactly the richest nor the most educated bunch?
Whatever you think of the police, these guys ooze power.
Imagine a skinny black cop waving his hand and with that an eighteen-wheeler screeches to a halt, and won’t move u until he says so.
There is power in the police uniform. There is security and some peace of mind.
So Kenyans may hate the police but they respect them. Can’t explain it.
And this respect cum dread for the police is what Owuor has always attempted to court.
Being driven in a convoy of civilian SUVs means nothing, but a convoy of police cruisers is something else.
When your meeting is thronged by uniforms there is this impression created that you command them.
Commanding police is what the president through his Interior Cabinet Secretary does.
Owuor who is power-obsessed loves it when police flock to his meetings.
There are two types of police at any Owuor’s orgies. First is those hired for security and order.
These are the ones who work too hard to appear mean, have guns, mostly semi-automatics and automatic weapons probably strung across their upper bodies.
These serve to assuage Owuor’s paranoia. Owuor is a paranoid schizophrenic who imagines there are at least twenty assassination plans unfolding whenever he leaves Lilly’s warmth for his magic shows.
Hence the guns. The others are adherents attending his meeting.
An Owuoristan rule is, ALL police officers attending his meetings must don police uniform. In Kenya, and of course everywhere else nobody wears their work uniform off working hours.
Nobody loves their job that much to don lab coats, aprons, helmets…to church.
So we know beyond doubt Owuor demands the police wear uniform.
Why is this?
To give the illusion of Commander in chief, and to prove that his garbage has permeated to highly respected and simultaneously hated powerful institution.
Owuor demands uniforms to mark his territory. Know how animals pee all-around their territories? That’s what the uniforms do.
Wearing uniforms off working hours to meetings is not the only thing Owuor does.
He organizes ‘evangelism’ meetings in which police officers are, watch this, expected to attend IN UNIFORMS.
What’s the connection between a police uniform and soul-winning? None at all but to Owuor it’s all special effects.
You may recall last year there was one adherent cop who went around Nairobi streets in full uniform mobilizing for the July Central Park?
It was so odd that it made it to the evening news. Owuor was so tickled by the publicity that he promoted him. I think his name is Sakwa.
All this came to an end when Deputy Inspector General (DIG), the dude who was sneaked into 197 Ruaka Road Runda Harem by Owuor’s partner in crime ‘engineer’ Laban Thiongo issued a directive that police stop preaching in uniform outside official police functions, and not just preaching but also wearing the uniform off duty.
Owuor may gather his less than 300 police adherents out of our approximately 40,000 strong force but nobody will know they are police as they will never don uniform.
How did I figure Owuorian cops number less than 300? Because whenever they hold police crusades less than 200 show up at any time and this is despite aggressive mobilization for these meetings.
All Owuor is left with are lab coats and stethoscope wearing ‘medics’ to prop his fake healings.
And with that memo, DIG dealt Owuor another blow.
The noose is tightening around his neck for sure. Soon, like Judas, he will fall headlong and his belly will burst open:
Acts 1:18 (KJV)
18 Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity, and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.
But unlike Judas, who was once called, Owuor had never been a Christian. Big difference.
PS: There was one unrepentant homosexual cop Ongaya who attempted to influence investigations into Jael Muthoni’s saga earlier this year. He was stationed at Kabete police station. He was demoted, sent to a smaller Butere North sub-county as police commissioner. Let all Butere men guard their ‘boots’.